Might as well start from the beginning. Let’s see….how did I get here?
#newagetochristjesus
In the midst of the global 2020 chaos, I found myself in the emergency room at the children’s hospital, Astrid Lindgren’s, with my son.
A doctor came in and plainly stated that my son has diabetes type 1.
Huh?
How?…
WHAT’S HAPPENING??
And it got worse.
Only a few short moments later, we were surrounded by a team of doctors & nurses fervently working on my son who, at the time, was struggling to even breathe.
What if…he dies here? ….tonight?
How on God’s given earth did I get here?
Let me back up a bit to explain.
First off, I’m old enough to know that we all had our fair share of traumas.
We all have stories to tell.
Unexpected or unplanned events that changed the trajectory of our lives.
I don’t intend to bore you with all the details, but in short…
Over the last couple of decades, I had slowly but surely gotten more and more engaged with new age stuff.
I was an avid and “proud” yogini.
Innocently, I had practiced yoga for over 20 yrs. Good stretch & exercise, right?
I have been on countless yoga retreat & “in depth” yoga teaching. Including a 200 hrs yoga teacher training.
Even used to brag that my son had “practiced yoga before he was even born.” What a privilege….
Slowly this grew into more meditation, law of attraction and somewhere along the line even worship of some of the countless Indian gods/demons.
You get the idea.
Only problem was….I never didn’t attract any of that promised wealth.
Nor any solution to the myriad of problems and issues that showed up along the way.
Certainly not the peace of mind I was so desperately yearning for.
In fact, things just got worse rather than better. One piece after another fell away.
I lost my marriage.
I lost my home.
Lost the sense of contributing to society.
And I lost being present in my child’s life when he was small due to constant worry, fear and doubt.
I lived in a weird sort of bubble, believing…God knows what. Even to the point of making life miserable for those around me.
And the day before that dreaded evening at Astrid Lindgren’s?
I lost my beloved Acura that I had shipped over from CA.
And now my son?
The key piece to everything I did.
The one person whom my whole life was centered around.
The one person I love the most.
Back to that evening when that realization came that he could be snatched away from me at any moment.
This is where something strange happened.
What I didn’t know then, but a Godly intervention.
See, instead of wollopp into panic mode, something else took over.
A feeling of being at ease in the midst of chaos around me.
And the answer to my question which was: Not tonight.
(The staff must have thought I was a nut to not react any more than I did.)
Miraculously – and only through God’s grace – my son did survive that night.
But I had learnt a really hard lesson.
Drastic change was indeed needed.
That’s when I picked up that book (the Bible) and started to read.
My son was 10 yrs at the time and what was once bedtime story time, turned into Scripture time.
We started from the beginning with Genesis. And I’d be telling a lie if I thought everything word we read was music to my ears. Some of it was…even a bit ouch to my sore-new-age-to-baby-Christian ears.
But bit by bit it came together. And the more we read, the more it made sense.
I stopped any kind of yoga, cold turkey. Everything yoga; equipment, books, notes and more all went into the bid (or got burnt up).
New age piece by new age piece got tossed out.
Replaced by Scripture, Bibles – and that peace I had been searching for so long.
I was eager to find out more, to somehow understand better.
I was hooked on Jesus Christ, our savior.
But in spite that plenty of Bible verses proves me wrong, there’s just this one tiny-tiny detail that I still struggle with.
It’s that thought, “how can such a wretched sinner like me EVER be forgiven for all I have done??”
John 1:12
“But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name:” (NKJV)
Not sure why, but John 1:12 keeps coming back to me.
John 1:13 continues “who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.”
To be a child of God includes to be obedient.
Yet somehow I wasn’t totally convinced I needed the church.
We attended a local Swedish church for sermon a couple of times.
Which was nice. But….the first thing we met with was a….female priest. (Among many other issues I saw.)
Wait a minute. Doesn’t it say in Scripture?….
Needless to say, that didn’t last.
Yet I felt more and more pulled to somehow get Baptized.
Obedient.
Openly declare I had given my life to Jesus Christ.
And for that to happen, I needed to find a church. Preferably a Baptist one…
And that’s how we ended up at Calvary Stockholm – and Praise be to God for that guidance!
This year, I finally did get baptized – for which I’m tremendously and forever grateful.
I’ve learnt & grown a lot in my walk with Jesus throughout the year attending worship.
But mostly this:
Though baptism is really really really nice, there’s now another reason I go.
See, I don’t attend church because I “should” as a Christian. Nor because it’s expected of me. Certainly not because I care what it would look like to others.
I attend church because I enjoy it.
I fully enjoy the gospel, the sermon, the worship, the messages and the people in it.
But ultimately the real reason I attend church is because I’ve come to understand that I need the church. The bride of Christ Jesus.
Colossians 1:24
“I now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up in my flesh what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ, for the sake of His body, which is the church,”
And my life now?
It’s made a 180.
I’ve pulled my way back up and slowly returning to something I recognize from before.
I enjoy listening to others, good or sad. (Seriously. Who doesn’t LOVE a good story??)
I prefer to be humble.
I’d rather do it His way than mine – even if I don’t like what’s before me.
I’ve learnt to ask for help. And if prayer doesn’t do it, then it’s for the better. God’s plans are Always better than mine.
Most importantly. No matter what goes on, I have peace. Because I now know that He is always with me.
Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
This was the story I got to tell in church after my baptism.
This is my testimony and witness to the Gospel.